with apologies to Alexander
Today when I woke up on time to get to work, I discovered that my alarm didn’t go off… because it’s Saturday.
And when I went to take a shower, the phone rang. And when I went to answer the phone it was my sister who called to remind me that it’s Saturday.
I got soap in my eyes and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
That’s what it was because when I went to make my life-giving morning beverage I discovered that the coffee pot was broke.
And when I made coffee in my french press, the coffee part escaped into the water part and I had little bits of grounds in my coffee.
I hate coffee grounds in my coffee.
“I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!” I yelled. Nobody even answered. I live alone.
When my sister went to her cupboard this morning she found a bag full of bite-sized, halloween Snickers bars.
When my friend went to her cupboard this morning she found a nearly full jar of creamy, chocolatey nutella.
When I went to my cupboard this morning all I found was soup.
“I’m having a chocoholic nervous breakdown,” I shouted. “I need a Hershey’s Kiss right here and right now or someone will have to die!”
The cat just laughed.
And I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
There is laundry to do, and I hate laundry.
The kitchen floor needs mopping, and I hate mopping.
The cat wants to cuddle, and I.. well, I love cuddling, but there’s a time and place for everything.
“I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!” I yelled to the nobody around.
My cat says some days are like that. But not for him, because he’s a cat. Maybe I WILL move to Australia.
(they have chocolate there, right?)