Barb’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

with apologies to Alexander

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Today when I woke up on time to get to work, I discovered that my alarm didn’t go off… because it’s Saturday.

And when I went to take a shower, the phone rang. And when I went to answer the phone it was my sister who called to remind me that it’s Saturday.

I got soap in my eyes and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That’s what it was because when I went to make my life-giving morning beverage I discovered that the coffee pot was broke.

And when I made coffee in my french press, the coffee part escaped into the water part and I had little bits of grounds in my coffee.

I hate coffee grounds in my coffee.

“I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!” I yelled. Nobody even answered. I live alone.

When my sister went to her cupboard this morning she found a bag full of bite-sized, halloween Snickers bars.

When my friend went to her cupboard this morning she found a nearly full jar of creamy, chocolatey nutella.

When I went to my cupboard this morning all I found was soup.

“I’m having a chocoholic nervous breakdown,” I shouted. “I need a Hershey’s Kiss right here and right now or someone will have to die!”

The cat just laughed.

And I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

There is laundry to do, and I hate laundry.

The kitchen floor needs mopping, and I hate mopping.

The cat wants to cuddle, and I.. well, I love cuddling, but there’s a time and place for everything.

“I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!” I yelled to the nobody around.

My cat says some days are like that. But not for him, because he’s a cat. Maybe I WILL move to Australia.
(they have chocolate there, right?)

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